Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Randomize
