I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
