plz talk dirty to me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
