dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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