this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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