Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
