I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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