i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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