why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize