Cold hands, warm shart.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
