dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
