I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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