ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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