I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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