It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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