therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
