Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
