Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
