I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
try to milk me bitch
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
