I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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