awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
