dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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