He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
