Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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(845): View more from New York

He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?

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(630): View more from Illinois

According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"

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(718): View more from New York

I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?

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(206): View more from Washington

I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat

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(314): View more from Missouri

Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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(585): View more from New York

I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun

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