splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Can I color on your dick again?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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