Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
