Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
