You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
