the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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