I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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