Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
