hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
