It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
