Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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