When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
