i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think a kid would responsible me up
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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