You just made me feel so damn special
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
