so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
