Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
