...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
