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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize