based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
