I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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