Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
