either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
