Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dicks are not precious.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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