So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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