i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
