You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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