Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
