You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
