Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I died a long time ago.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
