You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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