How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
