The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
