I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You are a genius and a whore.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
