Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
