you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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