just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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