i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
